Chapter 4 (and what happened to chapter 3?)

Chapter 4

I have worn myself out by Easter holiday gardening with many achievements!

In no particular order:

Moved turf to create three vegetable beds, weeded and de stoned them.

Planted carrots, leeks. cabbage, broccoli, onions, strawberries, raspberries, gooseberries, rhubarb and (tomorrow) broad beans and garlic. And marigolds, to keep the carrot fly away!

Dug out the compost heap (which included an old paddling pool) and taken most of it to the dump (still got the paddling pool for some reason!)

Started demolishing the massive brick pond.

I've also baked a vegan marmalade tea loaf, had the car MOT'd, taken the cats for a weigh in at the vet (they both lost weight) and bought material and a pattern for my next sewing project.

I've had a decorator in, bought a new bath and got carpet arriving on Friday.

Over Easter weekend, I went to stay with friends and carried on the gardening theme by digging potato trenches with them. We also went to Disraeli's house at Hughenden, where the highlights were climbing trees, having my first ice cream of the year and dressing up in an amazing green cloak. I also visited a real ale brewery, always a good idea. It was a lovely weekend, just  bit difficult at times to be with my friends' two children without the hope that adoption had given me.

So what happened to chapter 3? Well, there wasn't much of any cheerfulness to report. I felt very low and defeated, and my life felt empty. I know the only way to manage this is to go through the feelings, feel them, honour them, respect them and talk about them. I tried, and will keep on trying.