Chapter 2

Week 2 of my post adoption life. I'm not going to lie to you, it's tough. I am very sad, most of the time. And angry, that mistruths about me were written down, heard and believed, and have stopped me from becoming a mother, and there is nothing I can do about it.

But I am also trying to move on and bring some fun, variety and richness into my life. Trying to make my life into a book I can't put down, a story that never ends, a life of meaning.

This is what I have done:

Saturday: Went to an encounter group run by a person centred community, was called an angel and encountered some inner shame and fear. Ate some great biscuits.

Sunday: Drove to London and back to see two friends singing an original composition by another dear friend. Bought roses to plant in the garden.

Wednesday: Went to sewing club and finished a tote bag with flowers on:

And what I am planning to do:

Saturday: go to a writing workshop

Sunday: volunteer at Vegfest

And there will be more over the Easter break, which I really need.

I've been reading too, I read a great article:

http://www.thementalelf.net/mental-health-conditions/anxiety-disorders/cognitive-bias-modification-for-anxiety-and-depression-in-children-and-adolescents/ 

Don't be put off by the title! I learnt something really useful about how I view the world,

'Depressed people have a tendency to see themselves, the world, and the future as negative.  They make cognitive errors and are biased towards seeing the negative rather than the positive side of things.'

I'm definitely not saying I'm depressed, but I think the challenges of the last few years have caused me to see the world more negatively that it actually is.

And I've had a good idea! Or the beginnings of one.

What adventures does the week ahead have for me? Watch this space!